So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Randomize
