i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
