i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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