Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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