Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
