Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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