i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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