Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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