If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
