I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
