The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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