SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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