On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
