Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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