He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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