But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
