i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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