She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
