Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
