Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
