Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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