I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
