Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
