PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
