Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
