just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
