Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
