Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
