I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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