I hate your face
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
