I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
