loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
