Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
