I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
