when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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