just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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