Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
