But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
