The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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