Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize