It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
