I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
a search helicopter?!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize