I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
