batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
