I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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