I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
