Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
In America we eat man semen.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
