Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
