Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
