i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
