Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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