i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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