Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
