you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
