Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
