Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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