Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
