If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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