nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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